大使疫情手记 (双语12) —— 复活节的蟑螂

作者：Geoff Raby

中文：罗曼

转自朱雀艺术

前澳大利亚驻华大使、艺术收藏家、经济学家、专栏作家 Dr Geoff Raby AO 原计划于二月底返回北京，后因新冠疫情爆发滞留悉尼。朱雀艺术特别开设【号外】专栏，连载大使的疫情手记。今日连载至第12篇。

大使疫情手记（十二）

复活节的蟑螂

悉尼是出了名的蟑螂多。它们似乎偏爱这里的气候，温暖潮湿，而且不像热带那么黏腻。我们今天安装了一台新烤箱，因为我的旧烤箱的电子元件被蟑螂吃掉了。它们的饮食习惯真是奇怪，但据说这些虫子将是唯一可以从核灾难中存活下来的生物。毕竟它们可是在十五年里把一台电器给蚕食瓦解了 。

似乎事情在病毒爆发时会更快发生。如今，每个人都倍感脆弱，似乎没有人会花很多钱。尽管如此，商家还是在上门拜访了三次之后，才终于更换并安装了烤箱。有趣的是，当你被关在家里时，这种事情就成了当务之急。

不过这的确很及时，因为复活节到了，而且另一个绝佳的借口是，我们如今下厨的次数变多了。这是属于烤羊肉和热腾腾的十字面包的季节。烤箱是必要的。政府告诉我们所有人，虽然现在是复活节，但我们不能去任何地方。在此时杜绝一切社交互动是一则极其强硬的信息。

局势正在好转。新感染率不仅持平，甚至正在下降。死亡数仍然很低，不到感染人数的1%。这是一件值得高兴的事情。这是对政府在实施社会隔离、把我们关在家里、以及普及基本卫生消毒知识等举措所取得的进展的赞扬。让我们为之欢呼三声吧！我想，澳大利亚只有区区2500万人口，却占据如此广阔的国土，这样的国情本身也有所帮助。对我们而言，社交距离是自然而然的。

眼下，经济困难就像一片乌云笼罩在人们头顶久久不散。尽管如此，或许也是正因如此，据晚间新闻报道，在线赌博已成为紧急情况下增长最快的行业之一。这就是澳大利亚人对危机的反应。澳大利亚人的这种玩世不恭是很可爱的。这是一种全民性的态度：“谁在乎？”

可怜的鲍里斯·约翰逊仍在医院，似乎身体很不好，但幸运的是没有性命之忧。我希望复活节兔子不要迷路、避开所有检疫，在星期天送一些巧克力蛋来。唐纳德·特朗普并没有像他承诺的那样重新开放这个国家。事实上，美国和英国的死亡人数正在继续刷新记录。武汉已经如中国政府所承诺的实现解封了。武汉重新开放的第一天没有新感染病例，这看起来太过完美，难以置信。但谁知道呢，或许这就是真的。

伯尼·桑德斯宣布，他将退出美国总统竞选活动，并将他数目可观切热情满满的支持者转至拜登阵营。这是复活节前夕的大新闻。这是现实生活中的复活。拜登绝地重生，而特朗普第一次显得如此不堪一击。他可能不会赢。蟑螂也可能会抬起头，停止咀嚼那些电线，然后开始思考。哦，天啊！

祝大家复活节快乐。假期后再见。

Geoff Raby’s Pandemic Journal 12

Cockroaches at Easter

Sydney is well known for its cockroaches. It seems they like the usually warm humid weather, without the cloying stickiness of the tropics. A new oven was installed today. The cockroaches had eaten the electronics of the old one. Strange diet, but it is said these bugs will be the only creature left after a nuclear holocaust. Anyway, they had fifteen years to chomp away and render the electronics useless.

It seems that things can happen more quickly in the time of the virus. No one seems to be spending much money these days when everyone is feeling so vulnerable. Still, it took three visits by tradespeople to finally replace and install the oven. It is amusing that things like this become a preoccupation when you’re confined to home.

It is timely as Easter is here and another excuse, if one is needed, for more cooking. It is the season for roast lamb and hot cross buns. An oven is necessary. The government is telling all of us that, although it is Easter, we mustn’t go anywhere. No social interaction at this time is a tough message.

Things are looking up. The new infection rate is not only flat but is falling. The number of deaths remains low, at less than I per cent of infections. It is something to be pleased about.  It is a tribute to the speed the government moved at to impose social distancing, lock us in our homes, and educate about basic sanitisation. Three cheers!  I guess it also helps when only 25 million people occupy such a vast area as we do in Australia. Distancing comes naturally to us.

Despite, or because of the economic hardships that are now settling heavily on people like a dense thick fog, the evening news reports that online gambling is one of the fastest growing industries during the emergency. It is such an Australian response to crisis. There is a certain irreverence about Australian’s which is endearing. It is a national attitude that says, “who gives a stuff?”!

Poor Boris Johnson is still in hospital, and seems to be quite unwell, but fortunately not dangerously so. I hope the Easter Bunny can find its way and escape all the quarantine to deliver some chocolate eggs on Sunday. Donald Trump has not re-opened the country as he promised. In fact, the death toll in both the US and the UK continues to break records.  Wuhan has sort of opened as promised by the Chinese Government. The first day of no new infections in Wuhan just as its re-opens looks too neat to be credible. But who knows, it might be true.

Bernie Sanders announced that he was suspending his campaign and throwing his considerable and energised supporter base behind Biden. This is big news on the eve of Easter. This is a real-life resurrection. Biden has come back from the dead. For the first time, Trump looks vulnerable. He may not win. The cockroaches may lift their heads from munching wiring and start to think, oh shit! 

Happy Easter everyone. See you back after the holiday.